


Dick's a Bird

by thefirstneonphoenix



Category: Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, M/M, The fab five being annoying best friends, Titans Shenanigans, chatfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28680633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefirstneonphoenix/pseuds/thefirstneonphoenix
Summary: Thegirlwonder: skdfjlskdjfslkjf Dick’s a BIRDThegirlwonder: We’ve been joking about it for years, but HE REALLY ISThegirlwonder: Someone ask me what happened.Wonderboy: I-Wonderboy: Donna what did I DO???
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Joseph Wilson, Garth & Dick Grayson & Roy Harper & Donna Troy & Wally West
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	Dick's a Bird

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote half of this who knows how long ago, and didn't read any of that when I picked it back up, so there might be a continuity error or two. But we're used to those.  
> I tried to model this off of my own experience with groupchats, so it might be confusing.

**Fab Five Squad**

12:37pm

Thegirlwonder: skdfjlskdjfslkjf Dick’s a fucking BIRD

Thegirlwonder: We’ve been joking about it for years, but HE REALLY IS

Thegirlwonder: Someone ask me what happened.

Wonderboy: I-

Wonderboy: Donna what did I DO???

Thegirlwonder: I can’t believe you haven’t noticed, I’m literally dying skdfjslkg

Wonderboy: DONNA

Wonderboy: What Happened??

Wonderboy: I don’t act like a bird

Knockoffrobinhood: You kinda do man

Knockoffrobinhood: There’s this head tilt thing that you do when your confused

Thegirlwonder: *You’re

Knockoffrobinhood: Shut up Donna

Thegirlwonder: :)

Thelittlemermaid: Oh look, A Lover’s Quarrel 

Knockoffrobinhood: Fuck off Garth

Thelittlemermaid: Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the reef

Thelittlemermaid: But yeah Dick does act like a bird

Wonderboy: How much experience with birds do YOU have??

Thelittlemermaid: Enough.

Sonicthehedgehog: Well that seems weirdly ominous

Sonicthehedgehog: But yeah Dick’s definitely birdkin, but we already knew that

Wonderboy: I AM NOT

Knockoffrobinhood: *whishpers* yes you are

Knockoffrobinhood: *whispers

Thelittlemermaid: Roy I am unironically suggesting that you go back to school

Knockoffrobinhood: School is for wimps

Sonicthehedgehog: Well I’ve got to get to class in a few minutes because SOME OF US are educated gentlemen with legitimate prospects TM

Sonicthehedgehog: Donna that means you need to start Talking

Thegirlwonder: I’m TYPING

Thegirlwonder: Anyways 

Thegirlwonder: So we were in training this morning, right? Because that’s what those of us who haven’t abandoned the Titans do. And Dick’s normally pretty showy, especially around new recruits. I like to think it’s a dominance thing, but anyway. He’s doing something on the rings, I think? He was in the air, idk. When all of a sudden he yells and then just. Fucking plummets. Straight up free falling through the air, like it’s no big deal. I’ve watched Dick jump off of a lot of stuff, but never quite like this. I was panicking a little bit tbh. At this point we’re all watching him, and you can feel the tension in the room rising and people start to run over to him. Dick catches himself at the last possible second and flips up into the air, all grinning showmanship, before landing in front Joey and saying, and I quote, “Didja see that? Pretty cool, Huh?” And I am struck by the realization that he is literally dive bombing to show off for a potential mate. Like a bird.

Wonderboy: That’s-

Wonderboy: That’s not what was happening

Knockoffrobinhood: Oh? Care to explain?

Sonicthehedgehog: Yeah Dick I’d like an explanation too

Wonderboy: I like jumping off things

Wonderboy: I do it all the time

Wonderboy: And It’s not like I was doing it specifically because Joey was there

Thegirlwonder: You literally use flashier moves everytime we’re in a fight and he might see.

Thelittlemermaid: Y’know, I’m not sure if I’ve ever actually Met Joey

Knockoffrobinhood: He’s Deathstroke’s son

Wonderboy: I DO NOT

Thelittlemermaid: Wait the pirate has kids

Sonicthehedgehog: You definitely do

Thelittlemermaid: No

Thelittlemermaid: Go back

Thelittlemermaid: Deathstroke’s son?????

Knockoffrobinhood: Yeah so basically he was married and had a couple kids and then stuff happened? Idk exactly but his wife shot him in the face, (how he lost his eye), and then they got a divorce

Knockoffrobinhood: The older kid was apparently ravager

Knockoffrobinhood: The dude that tried to kill us that one time

Thelittlemermaid: Very helpful description Roy

Knockoffrobinhood: He died almost immediately?

Knockoffrobinhood: And then Deathstroke showed up?

Thelittlemermaid: Oh wait

Thelittlemermaid: I remember

Thelittlemermaid: That makes sense

Knockoffrobinhood: Anyway, the younger one, his name’s Joey, he and his mom showed up to help the titans kick his dad’s ass out of spite

Knockoffrobinhood: According to Donna, Dick fell madly in love with him upon making eye contact

Thelittlemermaid: Jeez

Thelittlemermaid: He must’ve been seriously hot

Thelittlemermaid: Was he a redhead too?

Thegirlwonder: He has blond curls, actually

Thegirlwonder: Not that it matters to any of you

Knockoffrobinhood: ?

Thegirlwonder: After some careful reflection, I’ve decided to rescind my previous statement about Dick being a bird on account of it being false and unkind, as well as apologise for any public humiliation I may have caused him

Thelittlemermaid: ….

Knockoffrobinhood: wait

Thelittlemermaid: Dick...?

Wonderboy: Hi yes I am very in love with one (1) Joey Wilson

Wonderboy: Two can play at this game, Richard

Thelittlemermaid: asdkhflsjghsldfdkjfdkfj

Knockoffrobinhood: I was wondering where you guys went

Thegirlwonder: Fuck you Donna

Thegirlwonder: And there was no need to pull out Richard

Thegirlwonder: Give me back my phone.

Wonderboy: You’re the one that took mine??

Knockoffrobinhood: She has a point

Thegirlwonder: I’m not giving her’s back until I’m certain it won’t be used against me

Thegirlwonder: I’ve been humiliated enough today

Thelittlemermaid: Somebody’s dramatic

Knockoffrobinhood: You should use a middle man

Thegirlwonder: If Wally were still here he’d have my side

Knockoffrobinhood: You just need to pick someone trustworthy and each give your phones to them

Thelittlemermaid: He would Not.

Thegirlwonder: Yes he Would.

Wonderboy: Dick honey, Garth is right

Thegirlwonder: You’re all miserable backstabbers

Thegirlwonder: I’m sick of it

Knockoffrobinhood: What are you gonna do about it?

Wonderboy: We could use Joey as a neutral party!

Knockoffrobinhood: Run away?

Thegirlwonder: We are Not Doing That

Thelittlemermaid: Running away or using Joey

Thegirlwonder: All of the above

Wonderboy: We could use Lilith

Thegirlwonder: Donna that’s worse

Knockoffrobinhood: Is Lilith even at the tower?

Wonderboy: I legitimately never know where Lilith is

Thegirlwonder: She really just does her own thing

Thelittlemermaid: Wish that could be me

Thelittlemermaid: Some of us have Responsibilities

Thegirlwonder: Yeah.

Thegirlwonder: If only I was brave enough to teleport out of any situation that I didn’t like.

Knockoffrobinhood: If only you COULD teleport out of any situation you didn’t like

Wonderboy: None of us can teleport

Thelittlemermaid: Speak for yourself

Wonderboy: Wait what

Thegirlwonder: You can teleport?

Knockoffrobinhood: Did he just drop that and leave?

Knockoffrobinhood: Why is he Like That

Wonderboy: He literally JUST called ME dramatic

Knockoffrobinhood: You got your phones back?

Thegirlwonder: Yuppers

Knockoffrobinhood: 1. Donna, please never say “yuppers” again

Knockoffrobinhood: 2. How’d that work?

Wonderboy: We threw them across the room at each other

Thegirlwonder: Yuppers :)

Knockoffrobinhood: ….

Knockoffrobinhood: This is not a fight I Wish to Pursue.

Knockoffrobinhood: You’re both so dumb

2:45pm

Sonicthehedgehog: Have Y’all ever considered waiting on me?

Sonicthehedgehog: There is so much to unpack here.

Thegirlwonder: To be fair, you could have continued living with us

Thegirlwonder: It was your decision

Sonicthehedgehog: I’m thinking moving out might have been a good choice

Thegirlwonder: :)

  
  



End file.
